recurring dreams
7:30 am...
I had a dream last night I had to write down before forgot...it's one I've had before.
I was driving around an upper-middle class suburban neighborhood when I heard my father call out. I doubled back, and found him sitting in a lawn chair in the driveway of a small condo. I knew somehow that he was single, divorced from my Mom, and this was his place. It was odd, since it wasn't the kind of neighborhood he would ever settle in. He looked out of place. He also looked different. I think he had a short beard or goatee. I stopped and we talked. I don't remember what we talked about, but I got the sense that he seemed very lonely. And then we were in church, which also was odd, because I can't remember my father ever going to church. It was a contemporary worship service. And then the dream ended. But what struck me most immediately about the dream was the fact that my father was single, and alone. As I said, I've had variations on this dream before, and I'm not sure why. I hope he isn't lonely now.
9:30 pm...
I just spoke with LeAnn about the dream, and had an insight as I described it to her. The fact that my father is always separated or divorced from my Mom in my dreams doesn't make a lot of sense, since they were always together. However, this divorce conceit could be my subconscious mind's way of interpreting of the gulf that now separates me, mom, and Joanna from my father - the gulf between the living and the dead. Separation/divorce = divested from life.
More importantly, I wonder if the lonliness that I sense in my father in my dreams is a projection of my own feelings. I will admit that I don't think about Dad every day, and I did not shed a lot of tears when he died - a part of me was relieved that he no longer had to deal with the pain and suffering of his many ailments. But I also suppose it's entirely possible that there are feelings that are lurking in my subconscious that only bubble up while I'm asleep. If I keep dreaming about him, then something is clearly going on.
I had a dream last night I had to write down before forgot...it's one I've had before.
I was driving around an upper-middle class suburban neighborhood when I heard my father call out. I doubled back, and found him sitting in a lawn chair in the driveway of a small condo. I knew somehow that he was single, divorced from my Mom, and this was his place. It was odd, since it wasn't the kind of neighborhood he would ever settle in. He looked out of place. He also looked different. I think he had a short beard or goatee. I stopped and we talked. I don't remember what we talked about, but I got the sense that he seemed very lonely. And then we were in church, which also was odd, because I can't remember my father ever going to church. It was a contemporary worship service. And then the dream ended. But what struck me most immediately about the dream was the fact that my father was single, and alone. As I said, I've had variations on this dream before, and I'm not sure why. I hope he isn't lonely now.
9:30 pm...
I just spoke with LeAnn about the dream, and had an insight as I described it to her. The fact that my father is always separated or divorced from my Mom in my dreams doesn't make a lot of sense, since they were always together. However, this divorce conceit could be my subconscious mind's way of interpreting of the gulf that now separates me, mom, and Joanna from my father - the gulf between the living and the dead. Separation/divorce = divested from life.
More importantly, I wonder if the lonliness that I sense in my father in my dreams is a projection of my own feelings. I will admit that I don't think about Dad every day, and I did not shed a lot of tears when he died - a part of me was relieved that he no longer had to deal with the pain and suffering of his many ailments. But I also suppose it's entirely possible that there are feelings that are lurking in my subconscious that only bubble up while I'm asleep. If I keep dreaming about him, then something is clearly going on.
posted by Mike Willis @ 7:05 AM
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