act your age

It's official - I'm a Yelp addict. The site is a collection of local business and restaurant reviews written by anyone who cares to throw their two cents in. It's a great resource if you're traveling to a new city and want some tips on where to visit or grab a bite to eat. And best of all, it gives amateur critics like me a place to exercise my critic skills for good, not evil! My friend Tony turned me on to the site. You can find my reviews at mpwillis.yelp.com. Tony's are at fastnbulbous.yelp.com. He's about 400 reviews ahead of me, but c'mon - he's got an unfair advantage with Chicago!

Both LeAnn and I tapped into our inner children this weekend. LeAnn's incident started on the drive to her parents' house Saturday. She was driving. As we cruised down her parents' road, we approached a group of teenagers who were walking down the street. They were in the middle of the road, backs to us. As we grew closer, LeAnn slowed down. One or two of the kids looked back and began to migrate to the side of the road, albeit rather slowly and with great reluctance. Rather than drive around, LeAnn slowed the car even more and gently encouraged them, in her way, to make way. For about thirty seconds, it was a standoff, Oldsmobile Alero vs. teenage mob, at the OK Corral. My window was down. One of the kids asked with that tone of voice that's more of an accusation than a question which only teens can muster, "Why don't you just drive around?" And LeAnn shot back, just as quickly, "What does it look like I'm doing?" Or something equally witty - I don't recall for sure. I just looked at her like, What the hell are you doing? The wisdom of getting into a battle of wits with teenagers is questionable at best, but I was really wondering what Maddie made of her Mom's reaction!

Now, lest you think this ends poorly for LeAnn, fast forward to the next day. LeAnn, Maddie and I decided to go to Palisades State Park for a picnic. It was a glorious afternoon, and we had a perfect grilling spot next to the Cedar River. After we had gorged ourselves on some brats, Maddie and I took a walk to the river. The grass was full of dandelions which had gone to the puffy seed stage, perfect for blowing in the wind. I picked up a couple of perfect specimens and handed one to Maddie. She gave it one half-hearted puff and threw it aside. I don't know why, but that really irked me. I picked out that dandelion especially for her! Such ingratitude! So did I suck it up like a man? Hell no! I decided to start running back to the picnic table, leaving Maddie screaming in the dust, knowing full well it would irk her. And boy, did I get my reaction. She screamed bloody murder, and by the time she made it back to the table, she was in tears. I knew I'd get a reaction, but I didn't expect...tears! I felt like a heel. I was. Just desserts, I suppose, for my condescending reaction to LeAnn the day before!

One other incident to relate about the picnic. While we were cooking the brats, LeAnn somehow managed to go all dyslexic and referred to the picnic basket as the "pisnic" basket. We were a little punchy and had a good laugh, when Maddie, out of the blue, bellowed - yes, bellowed - "PISS OFF" to her Mom! It wasn't said with any acrimony, but she clearly had the spirit of the thing. LeAnn IMMEDIATELY started laughing harder, while I did my best to put on my stern face and explain, in a lame fashion, what that meant and why it wasn't appropriate. Don't know that it stuck, though. By this time, LeAnn is doing her best to stifle her laugher, and tears are literally streaming down her face. We still don't know where Maddie picked that one up.